LAST POSTING

this will be the last posting of my secret blog. becos i am letting her to see my blog. thanks for the support my buddies!!

BLOGGING OUT = FEEL BETTER?

just trying out does blogging out makes my feels better. usually i wouldnt even have the mood to do anything.

i dunno why again i am down. started with a pleasant day, during the way to sch i call someone, and that person didn't pick up the phone.. since then my mood is starting to deteriorate. all along in class today i am doing my assignments. i guess some of my friends had noticed me into myself today, thanks for asking even though it doesnt help at all i appreciate the concern inside my heart.

SWEET FEELINGS..

tonight is the best night at home for me. anqi and i had chatted on the phone (42.38min) the longest record with the help from costing. haha.. starting say costing, behind say alot of other things.. just so sweet..

THANKS SORRY THANKS SORRY

went ndp today, nv tok to her.. i dun even dare to look at her.. haha.. my heart will tumb tumb fast fast. i bought a poohbear keychain with her name from hobby craft.

just now in msn ask her 11 and 12 aug free or not.. she say 11 not free and 12 dunno free or not.. means 12 got chance!! i still ask her 27 aug wanna go see 2 moon together. most likely she will see with me..

I AM TIRED

its a fine day today, i bought anqi a packet of hello panda. thanks sam for the delivery.. after sch, while walking out of the sch suddenly saw anqi's group. going home too. she purposely walk very fast. and i have no more 'energy' to catch her up. my loving heart is exhausted.. i know, most of u will say she was just shy. but it really hurt my pride looking her backview fading away..

i don't know why, i just send her a smiley face sms after that.. do i really need to be thick skinned in order to get a girl? i need a rest.. after a rest, i will be okay again.

tomorrow will be a better day!!!

THE PENCIL I BOUGHT FOR HER

here are the pics of the gift i bought for her.. bought it from my class entrepreneur students.





i gave her the one with her name while i keep mine :D anyone interested can visit J8 on Sunday 6 august.

TODAY I SENT HER HOME

after school i go eat with jiawen and after eating jiawen went home. i sat at the amphi to wait for her to dismiss. waited for some time, saw my sec sch fren... he early dismiss cos lesson cancelled so he come find me and sat down to chat with me. finally saw mz that group walk out. they are laughing that i am sitting there, probably shocked i think. they just walk out to the sch despite my presence.. i think she shy ba. than i go follow follow them.. at interchange, far and mz took their initiative to pangseh anqi hahaha! but dot is there, anqi hug dot's hand not wanting her to leave her alone.. finally after awhile dot also left. its my turn hehe..

we walked as i am recalling what question should i ask.. i actually did prepared alot of things to say but it just wouldn't come out from my mouth. walk until the bus stop. the bus 156 came.. up the bus, i see there's a 2 seater at the back of the bus but to my horror, anqi sat down beside another person.. i can just sit behind her. i gave anqi a gift. the whole journey was silent. finally reach her bus stop, we got down.. she ask me 'u wan to go where?' i replied 'i just wan to send u home'. walk walk walk.. to her lift, she said thank you and ask me to take care on my way.

on my bus back to amk i fall aslp, she smsed me some thank you thingys make me wake up, i reply her 'thanks for smsing me, i just missed my bus stop' her reply 'ohh u fall aslp ah? why u say thank you? sorry..' my reply 'for what sorry? i like can le' her reply 'aiyo.. haha.. ok up to you.. haha'

I NEVER GIVE UP

despite what anqi had blogged today which apparently she seems to be having somebody else in her mind. i WON'T GIVE UP! this is the path i wanna walk, it is my choice! i won't stop liking her. i don't call it love, because i am not allowed to go onto that stage yet.

i want to thank you all my close friends for constantly supporting me when i need help, cheering me up when i am down, giving me golden advices when i am confused.

lets wait and see whether this story has an happy ending..

LOVE RIVALS

i am scare.... after reading anqi blog.. i knew something bad is happening, due to my buddy.. there's few guys who are wooing anqi now. i feel dampened. but i gonna give my best shot!!!

who will be elimated, pls catch the next round of jeff wooing anqi show!

I HOPE THERE IS A 'RESTART BUTTON'

Its been awhile since i had fallen into the black hole of love. i wish i could reverse it, but it seems to be impossible for me. every little actions done by her will affect my mood.. every time i had tell myself, tomorrow will be a better day. i would wake up the next day as a good day.. but i will probably make it a bad day again. it's not anqi's fault, its 'myself' finding all these troubles. if there is a restart button, i will press it.. and everything will be fine again.

A SHORT WALK WITH HER

friday is a happy day, in class see the carpark saw william jogging, i faster ask yogesh see my girl than jinquan see his girl too LOL.. after sch i went home to prepare for the date with anqi! i prepare ok le around 2.30pm anqi say she still on the way to go home.. and she also need to bath cos she got S&W today. at 3.15pm she finally called me and i ask her wan to go where, she ask me wan to go where.. i say, bugis? her reaction "wa so far, than must other day liao la" she tot i wan to go compass point -.-' than i say ok lor i come compass point, i reaching liao give u a msg. than i go out.. very disappointing.. sit on bus think the whole journey..

reach le.. see her i started to get my mood back. we walk around compass point. as usual, she still keep on use hp sms.. she got cough and flu, see le will heart pain.. in the end we went to buy bread at breaktalk. cos i hungry and she also need to buy for her brother. afterwards go coldstorage walk, she say i weird. i dunno why haha.. than walk finish, we go take bus go home.. this time i nv send her home.. i take 86 back to amk, we started to sms. after probably she reach home le, bo reply liao lol.. saw her in msn than chat. that the end of today.

TREAT ME GOOD I SCARE

today i send a sms to anqi 'wah today weather so hot, drink more water kk' her reply 'yalo.. very hot.. u too.. drink more water..' i was shocked.. she first time reply such a caring msg back to me.. am i succeeding in getting her? went back to home for a nap, wake up than online around 6pm.. saw anqi online, we chatted.. she reply in a very close manner.. i am scare, why she suddenly treat me so good. i know she watching tv so i say 'dun disturb u watch tv le i go 1st, takecare!'

REJECTION = SIAN

during break time for today 12pm i bought 2 packets of hello panda milk flavor for her. i asked william to help me deliver it to her, william say 'so good ah buy things for my wife' hahaha.. very funny..

anyway to the topic.. gary and i talked about this b4.. he say he ask jialih something.. if jialih rejects it. he will feel no mood for whole day. i totally agree sia!!

just now 10pm the channel 8 show finished le ma than i want to listen her voice.. i sms her 'are you free can call me? but i go bath 1st' her reply is 'sorry i going to slp le.. anything important?' than i 'hmm.. nothing important, good night and slp tight!' rather sian now.. but dun worry, i am positive..

SCHOOL START!

today is the 2nd day in sch. in the morning i ask sms her want to meet bishan mrt. she reply quite late and say apologise cos she is reaching school soon. when i reach sch that time about 7.45am i saw her sitting there with her friends.. i walk there and couldn't find anywords to say.. so i ask her, farzanah nv come issit? she say ya. than i smiled.. and walk over to where jinquan is seated..

after sch i sms her wan to go sengkang walk walk becos nowadays i got abit stress from the coming CAs.. she reply she sch day dun feel like going out.. instead she say go out on friday lor, go home change than go out.. yippe!!

YES/NO?

please read the latest post at www.i-do-as-i-please.blogspot.com first. refering the the latest post, yeah u got it.. she accepted my invitation for my sister's birthday party.. i am not sure whether she is coming willingly or coming for pitying me? by the way here's the sms dialogue :)

me: hey hey!! remember i booked u on this thurs for me sister birthday.. so how issit?
anqi: i tot sam ask us to go out? or you are not going to cartel?
me: but i book u earlier man! you wan to go sam de?
anqi: you confirm go ur sis bday right? hmm.. then i go with u lo. wat ur sis like?
me: really?!? its my pleasure invite you! me sis... very firece person..
anqi:wat time? wat ur sis like? not ur sis is what person..lol...
me: she like ppl to come empty handed.
anqi: aiyo.. empty handed.. cannot la.. very rude leh..
me: ..she like pooh also. dont give too expensive can le :D

THE TRUTH

today in msn saw anqi busy. so i nv click on her, suddenly she msg me.. erm, see the conversation for more details :D

anqi: hello
me: ya what?
anqi: manners to say hi..
me: u got say hi or gd afternoon to me meh?(refering to sms)
me: u know whats the terrible feeling when being treated cold by people?
anqi: sorry... i don't know what i really want..
anqi: i am not ready to commit in a r/s..
me: why didn't u tell me earlier?
anqi: sorry.. never got guy like me b4.. i dunno how to speak it up..
me: so instead u treat me cold, hoping i will give up on u? so its true..
anqi: i know no matter what i say u also will hate me.
me: haiz.. hate u for what.. i just hope we can be friend now.
anqi: i also really hope we can be like before..
me: if not for sam, i dunno when than i will know the truth..
anqi: u got something to say just say.. want to scold me also can..
me: stupid, scold u for what..
anqi: i deserve scolding from u all..
me: i just want to say.. i am not going to give up, i will wait for u until u are ready..
anqi: why is me?
me: why is u... u r a nice girl.. and this is my first time to feel so agony when liking a girl.
me: lastly, there is no reason needed to like someone. so dun ask why is u.
anqi: ok..thank you, and sorry...
me: i see u busy, i shouldnt disturb u anymore :)
anqi: ok.. takecare.. thank you..
me: cya

I AM A WALKING DEAD

devoured by love.. after more than 24 sleepless hours, i feel that my body is becoming weaker. today as usual, i send some message to anqi and here's the dialogue through sms between us today:

AFTERNOON
me: hi, good afternoon. have you taken your lunch?
aq: haven..
me: oh ok.. remember to eat than..
aq: thanks..:)

EVENING
me: hi, miss me?
aq: ??lol..
me: funny huh. lol

NIGHT
me: roar!!! gd nite to you..

of the above smses.. i really can't get myself to think any positive things.. she is cold to me. i hope that these are just some test to determine how much i love her, if not.. i will get really upset.